How to love your body the way it is
Your body is not the entirety of who you are, but it can be hard to feel positive about your body with so much external pressure from social media, traditional media and various cultural expectations.
Male, female or other, the body comes under constant scrutiny from others and from ourselves. It is our home and yet, also what feels like our enemy at the same time.
When it comes to having a better relationship with your body, it can be helpful to remember a few things. They are as follows:
Almost everyone feels self-conscious about their body in some way.
There is no such thing as an objectively "perfect" body, it's all subjective (meaning beauty REALLY is in the eye of the beholder).
Body acceptance takes time and committment, but if you're reading this you've already done 50% of the hard work by wanting to have a different relationship with your body.
It's also likely that others see you as much more beautiful (both inside and out) than you think. It's hard for us to "see" ourselves.
Social media constantly lies to you about the "reality" of images.
But HOW do we actually start feeling better about our body? Well, listen up. There isn’t some little magic confidence pill you can start taking to automatically have that body-confident pep in your step. BUT there are multiple actions you can take to begin shifting your perception of yourself.
Here’s how to start a more positive relationship relationship with your body.
Practice body gratitude.
Look in the mirror (start small) and find ANYTHING that you like about your body and send that part gratitude. It might be that you like your hair, that your nails are smooth and strong or you like your delicate (or solid) wrists. Weird? Not so much. This is your permission slip to choose ANYTHING about your body that you like.
Then, when you’ve gotten comfortable finding gratitude for the things you do like, you can try sending that same gratitude for the things you don’t like (tummy, thighs or arms and boobs/bums tend to be prominent issues here).
Focus on the functional.
If you found the previous suggestion really difficult, try to focus on how your body serves you well. Write a list of all the ways your body helps your life. For example, your heart pumps your blood without you even thinking, your legs are strong and you can walk, your arms lift your children up, your body dances well etc. Make that list a solid list (i.e, try for more than 4 things you can appreciate about your functional body).
When you appreciate what your body does automatically, it can lead to more positive thoughts about our bodies overall.
Ditch the narrative that looking one way will make you happier.
Harder said than done I know. It might be a good idea to ask yourself "why" you want to look a certain way. Is it because you feel you will be more loved and accepted?
But being happier based on looks is a myth. Being truly happy is an inside job. While your looks may occassionally determine short-term happiness or confidence, it doesn't determine it for the long-term. I know lots of clients and friends who have been through massive weight-loss journeys, and they still look in the mirror everyday with disappointment or shame around how some other part of them is not perfect or what they would like. The narrative that if you change X, Y or Z about your physical body will make you happy doesn’t stick.
Protect your social media.
How we consume media can have a huge impact on how we view ourselves. Get rid of following people or pages on social media that constantly make you feel bad about yourself and your body.
You could also follow pages by people who have a similar body size or shape to help you focus on what you might find beautiful in them, eventually transferring that belief to yourself.
Also remember that almost EVERYTHING on social media is heavily edited in some way. The people on social media don't even look like that, and a lot of them have professional make-up artists, photographers, lighting and Photoshop editing teams to make them look that good. Comparing yourself isn’t worth it.
This is just a small list to get you started, but if you’re craving more ideas, here’s a few more just for good measure.
Do something that FEELS nice for your body every day
Do regular body-scan meditations to get more in tune with how your physically feeling.
Make exercise about feeling good, not looking good.
Try sensual dancing (alone, not necessarily with others unless that feels good!)
Do mirror work. Yup, not for the faint of heart but so powerful! Meet yourself naked in the mirror everyday for a week and use self-compassion towards the parts of yourself you don’t find so great. See if that changes over the week.
And remember, your body is just a small part of the totality of who you are.
