10 questions to ask yourself before the new year

It’s often at this time of year where we begin to reflect on the year just gone and plan for the year ahead. We often get asked what our new year’s resolutions are and what we want to achieve. We are sold yearly calendars, planners, goal-setting journals and affirmation posters that claim ‘This is going to be the best year yet!’ or ‘This is the year to achieve all your goals!’ or some other statement around success.

As a Counsellor I am obviously not against reflection or some solid goal and intention setting to help guide your actions. Setting goal-posts is a wonderful thing. Reflecting is a wonderful thing. But I believe that it’s how you reflect and how you set those goals that can determine whether or not those new year’s goals become a reality.

Sidenote: you also don’t NEED to set goals for the year ahead at all!

But, if there is something in your life you’re dissatisfied with or something you want to change, all the power to you.

From a counsellors perspective, here is a loose list of questions to ask yourself when you’re reflecting on the year just gone, and what you may desire to create for yourself for the year ahead.

1.     What are you the proudest of from the year just gone?

2.     What did you learn this year, looking at both your successes and things that didn’t quite pan out?

3.     What did you crave over the past 12 months that you may or may not have gotten/achieved? (i.e, productivity, rest, creativity, quality time with people you love etc). If you achieved them, HOW did you achieve them?

4.     What are the things you originally set out to do but didn’t achieve? What got in the way of those goals? Keep in mind, motivation changes and life circumstances happen. This is not an exercise to beat yourself up.

5.     What’s similar about your goals from last year, and the goals leading into this year? What’s different? Have your values and motivations changed?

6.     What do you truly desire your next 12 months to look like? Choose AT LEAST 3 descriptive words (i.e, Peaceful, Stability, Successful, Free, Abundant etc.). Then, expand on those 3 or more words. What does that look and feel like for you?

7.     Was there anything you initially set goals for this past year that thought you wanted but it turns out it was the desires and dreams of other people?

8.     What do you want to learn over the next 12 months? How can you do that?

9.     What do you want to avoid over the next 12 months (i.e., burn-out, seeing family members you don’t get along with, always putting others first etc.)? How can you imagine yourself doing that?

10.  What are your goals and desires for the next year? Get specific. Use SMART goals if that helps. If you say, for example, that you want to loose weight then get specific but reasonable about it.

For example, a common goal for people is to get “fit” in the New Year. If we take the idea of the SMART goal, the plan might look like the following.

SMART Goals look like the following:

S: Specific
Is your goal specific?
This is where you’d define what “fit” means to you. Firstly, define what “fit” is to you. Is it loosing a few kilos? Is it being able to run a marathon? Is it being able to walk up the stairs at the office without loosing your breath? Defining your goal is the first step.

M: Measurable
Is it measurable?
Because the initial goal is to loose 5 kilos, you can track and measure progress. You’ll know when you’ve lost 5 kilos and then can expand or change your goal, or celebrate having completed your goal!

A: Attainable
Is the goal attainable?

If initially set your goal too high “I want to loose 30 kilos!”  and you’ve never exercised before or don’t know anything about healthy eating, you may actually end up shooting yourself in the foot by placing a goal so far out of reach that you end up giving up the moment you hit a snag. The goal should be realistic within a realistic time frame (see R: Relevant & T: Time-bound). It’s also proven that setting yourself smaller goals first that are achievable give you impetus to keep going for the bigger ones.

For example, instead of loosing 30 kilos, it might be more attainable to start with a goal like “I want to eat less junk food” or “I want to get a personal trainer to help me begin my weight loss journey”.

R: Relevant

Is the goal relevant for you in this moment?

If you value your health and wellness, loosing 5 kilos is value-driven and is relevant for you. If you don’t actually value your health or you don’t need to loose weight, it’s likely you’d be setting another goal.

T: Time-bound.

Can you put a time-limit on achieving this goal?

When did you want to achieve this goal? Setting a time limit can help you track and measure your progress and give you the motivation to begin working towards something. For example, “I will loose 5 kilos in 4 months”.

If you need help reaching your goals, or want to spend some time reflecting, counselling can be a great place to start. Counselling appointments with Karyna are available across Australia, online or via phone. Flexible hours are available and a holistic style looks at the wholeness of who you are. You can book here.