Embracing the Weight of Sessions: How I Handle the Emotional Impact

Hey there, lovely readers! You've asked me a bunch about how I handle the emotional load that comes with my counselling sessions. And I am happy to share, but before we do, I want to set the stage by sharing a few thoughts.

First off, I want you to know how deeply honoured I feel to be in this unique role. It's a beautiful and magical thing when people entrust you with their stories, their struggles, and their triumphs. Being witness to these moments of growth and also vulnerability is something I cherish every day and I do not take it for granted. And while people often give me credit for the work that I do with them, I always make sure they know that THEY are the ones doing the hard yards. I also don’t do therapy “to” someone, the therapeutic journey is one I do “with” someone.

Before we delve into the "how," let's make one thing clear: I'm here because I'm passionate about creating a safe space for others to embark on their healing journeys. It's not about me "fixing" anyone. It's about walking side by side on a path of growth and self-discovery.

I also get that I am often asked how I manage to cope, because some of my clients worry about burdening me. Let me say this loud and clear: your struggles are not a burden. Life's complexities weren't meant to be tackled alone, and asking for help is a sign of massive courage. I'm here to help you unpack, examine, and navigate through those complex emotions.

Imagine it like this: when you step into my counselling room, you're carrying a bag full of thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Together, we empty that bag and sort through its contents. Do the items in here need to be kept, sorted, polished or discarded? Do the items still have a function, but maybe need to be carried differently so it’s not so heavy? Do the items need to be sorted and packed away again, maybe to be kept and revisited a little later, or maybe to be preserved permanently? Keep in mind, not all the items are heavy things! Some are delicate, or soft, or maybe even smaller than you think but so critical to the process of living. It's a process we do together, and I'm just here to guide you.

But… I also know my wonderful client’s are attuned to my role, so here's the scoop on how I handle dealing with some of the heavier, stickier or prickly objects:

Caring for Myself: You might be surprised, but I put myself first in everything I do. Sounds counter-intuitive for a counsellor, right? Not because I'm cold and unempathetic, but because I've learned that if my own cup is empty, I can't be of much help to you. I am totally useless if I’m running on empty. It's a lesson in self-care and I hope I’m setting an example for everyone I work with. And while I don’t always have a completely full cup (come on, I’m human too), I’ve learnt to do my best to never let it get empty.

Sharing Is Healing: They say a problem shared is a problem halved. And it's true! I have my own support system, including a supervisor (who is like the counsellor’s counsellor) and I have also sat on the opposite side of the therapy room in a similar position to you. Talking about what I'm feeling usually helps me process and gain perspective. It's like a release valve for emotions and something I recommend to almost everyone.

Compassion, Not Rescue: I'm here to offer compassion, not to rescue. You're not broken, and I'm not here to "fix" you, I’m here to “help” you. I do that by providing tools or strategies for you to use and providing that space to talk and process. I've got my own boundaries in place to ensure that I can support you without accidentally taking your stuff home with me. However, sometimes I do find that I take some things home and when that happens, that’s when I use my own tools and strategies or I get outside support.

Nature and Laughter: Sometimes, the simplest things work the best. For me, that’s stepping outside and soaking in the beauty of nature. It rejuvenates me. Laughter, on the other hand, is like a balm for the soul. I make time for both because they keep me grounded. P.S – Did you know that “nature” or “forest” bathing (where you immerse yourself in nature) is evidence-based as being a simple (and cheap!) stress-reliever?

Embracing Tears: Tears are natural. I've shed a few myself during or after sessions, it’s actually a sign of empathy and connection instead of me taking on my client’s burdens. Also this industry does have it’s challenging moments (as all industry’s do). But I know when to reach out for my own support if the emotions become overwhelming or they begin to morph into something more challenging.

Soulful Practices: I've got my own rituals and practices that keep me connected to my inner self. The more “woo-woo” side of life isn’t for everyone, but it's my way of staying centred, grounded and in a constant and evolving state of hope for the future. I’ve found what works for me, I love helping people find what works for them.

So there you have it, a glimpse into how I handle the intensity of counselling sessions. It's a journey we take together, with all its ups and downs. My goal is to create a safe, nurturing space where you can explore your emotions and find your own strength. Remember, I'm learning and growing right alongside you.